When a woman gets engaged, it’s usually her mother who gets to hear about it first. The fact that women choose to call their mothers first each time anything important happens in their lives says a lot about the relationship they share with them.
Many women love the idea that they could announce to the world how grateful they are for all that their mothers have done for them. The day they get married often presents itself as an excellent opportunity. If you would like to make a touching statement on your wedding day about the relationship that you have with your mother, here are ideas on how to do it.
1. Wear your mother’s wedding dress
It can be a beautiful gesture to ask your mother for her wedding dress to wear on your wedding day, instead of picking up a new one. Many brides who try this idea get an expert tailor to have a few updates. Most probably, your parents got married in the 1980s, which means the style of your mom’s wedding dress differs a lot from what we see nowadays. In this case, you may use your mom’s jewelry and accessories.
You can also adorn the stem of the bouquet with her scarf or the fabric from her gown or use some items that are dear to her, for example, your family heirloom. If your mother’s wedding dress isn’t right for you at all, you may still consider wearing her veil. By incorporating an article of her clothing into your outfit, you will gain a special bond between you and your mom.
2. Choose your mother’s outfit yourself
Usually, once the bride chooses her wedding dress, she shows it to her mother. The mother, then, goes on to buy an outfit of her own to complement the wedding dress. Then, the groom’s mother buys an outfit to go with all the others. It could be a sweet gesture, though, for you to buy dresses both for your mother and your future mother-in-law, yourself.
Believe it or not, but I’ve witnessed at least three weddings where the bride’s mother and the mother of the groom wore almost the same dresses. It’s nothing but a buzzkill for your mom and your would-be mother-in-law. If you spend a day choosing their outfit, you will be pretty sure and comfortable about their clothing. It’s also a sweet idea to accomplish their look with stunning accessories and elegant details.
3. Your mother could give you away, too
In the Jewish tradition, both the mother and the father walk the bride down the aisle. In the Christian tradition, though, it’s only the father. Admittedly, walking down the aisle with your father, brother, grandfather, or other male relative had been a strong tradition for a long time.
There’s no need to follow tradition to a tee. The convention could be bent a bit, though, if it would help honor your mother. You could ask your mother to join you and your father as you walk down the aisle. After all, both of your parents have to say goodbye to their little girl.
However, it would be reasonable to know if your dad is ok with that. Sharing this special moment will be a great way to honor your mother at your wedding.
4. Consider a special ceremony
In some wedding ceremonies, the bride honors her mother with a special ritual. She presents her with a flower or bouquet. In others, the mothers of the bride and the groom both hold up large candles that the bride and the groom light smaller candles from. It’s a ritual that demonstrates spiritual sharing. Many brides ask their florists to add two extra roses to their bouquets to honor their moms and mothers-in-law while walking down the aisle.
Another great way to honor your mom is to write a special thankfulness note and introduce it during the wedding ceremony. You have a lot to say to your mom, and your wedding is the proper time. Be sure your mom always brags about how great her daughter is, so why not take occasion to brag about her in front of a big audience? Pay homage to your mom for everything she had taught you about life, love, and people. I bet she will be deeply touched by this gesture!
5. The mother-daughter dance
While it’s common for the bride to dance with her father at her wedding, a mother-daughter dance isn’t nearly as usual a sight. This could be a great place to change tradition. Mothers deserve dances, too.
The choice of the song is one of the most important aspects of the dance since the song should be meaningful to both of you and it should be entertaining for your guests. Play her favorite song during the ceremony or opt for the composition that accompanied your parents’ wedding ceremony.
If you choose the song, consider Mama’s Song by Carrie Underwood, and I’m Every Woman by Whitney Huston. These are eternal compositions. Ask the officiator to announce the song and say a few words before you start dancing. Suggest that your spouse dance with both your mom and his mom.
6. Make a change to the traditional bouquet toss
This is another great alternative to a traditional bouquet toss. Nowadays, in some weddings, brides choose to replace the traditional wedding bouquet toss with a bouquet dedication. She gives a little speech about her mother and dedicates the bouquet to her. If your mother doesn’t know about your plans, this will be a great surprise for her!
You can say how important this person is for you without mentioning her name and at the end, come up to your mom, hug her and give her your wedding bouquet. This gesture will show her (and everybody there) how important her support was over the years. Be sure, tears are guaranteed. You can also duplicate the wedding bouquet of your mom. Look through her wedding photos and give the picture to your florist.
7. Re-create your parents’ wedding cake
It can be a beautiful gesture to design your own wedding cake after the one that you see in your parents’ wedding photos. Try to reduplicate every prominent feature and detail of their wedding cake, like colors and small decoration flowers. My mom would be just shocked to see the exact copy of her cake on my wedding table!
You can also incorporate her favorite sweets into your desserts, such as chocolate cookies. Be sure your mom will eagerly share her top-secret recipes with you! You can think up a wedding menu after the one that your parents had. It’s unnecessary to pattern everything, but a few dishes taken from your parents’ wedding menu will definitely honor your mom and dad!
8. Set up a collection for your mother’s favorite charity
Showing your mother how much you value the causes she cares about can be a beautiful way to honor her. Calling the charities that she likes to ask for a collection box to place at the wedding is one way to go. It could also be an idea to set up a dance or other charity event at the reception and to collect money to give to her favorite charity.
You can also donate your wedding dress and other accessories to her favorite charity. Surely, this should be a highly weighed deed since, for most women, their wedding dress means a lot throughout their lives. On the other hand, you will never put it on, and there’s really no sense in storing it. The charity organizations usually resell the wedding outfit and use the profit to help women with cancer.
9. Have the band play mother-daughter songs
Mother-daughter songs are a great way to enhance the special bond between you and your mother. Some beautiful songs dedicated to the love that mothers and daughters share have made it to the top of the charts over the years. Child of Mine by Carole King, Good Mother by John Arden, In My Life by the Beatles, I’ll Be by Reba McEntire, and Mama by Il Divo are good examples.
In fact, you can opt for any song that is special for both of you. Remember what your mom was singing to you in your childhood, or take advantage of your parents’ wedding playlist. It can be a touching gesture to ask the band to play a song that you find beautiful. Be sure to stock up on heaps of tissues since most compositions are going to be rather sentimental.
10. Try to take your mother’s advice
Many mothers secretly feel unhappy over the way their opinions no longer matter to their children. It can be a meaningful gesture to ask your mother for her opinion in a few key areas of the wedding and actually take her suggestions. Few things could make a mother happier.
Ask your mom to help you with the menu and guest seating. Or, ask your mom to help you choose the wedding decorations and bouquet as well as your wedding dress. Your tastes might differ greatly, but you should never show that her opinion is not important to you anymore.
Still, your mom is more experienced, and she really knows some things better than you do. Do not neglect your mom’s advice, and it will be the most precious gift for her.
As you think of ways to honor your mother at your wedding, you could consider honoring her parents, too. It could be a special way to tell your mother how much you value every person in her life. Hopefully, these little tips will help you make your wedding day more meaningful. If you have other tips, feel free to share them with us.