"Depending on the taste of the bride, the host can have some entertaining games for the guests to play or skip the games altogether," says Gottsman.
The general outline is usually the same: food, drinks, and an opportunity for the bride to open gifts surrounded by guests. You can stick to bridal shower traditions like gift bingo or designing wedding dresses using rolls of toilet
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paper, or you could plan an activity-oriented shower like a spa day or a calligraphy lesson. Don't love the idea of opening gifts in front of everyone? Speak up! Those gifts could be set aside so you can open them at home along with your future spouse.
Speaking of your partner, they often arrive toward the end of the shower (with flowers in tow). It's a sweet
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way to include them in your celebration as well as help you get those gifts home.
What happens at a bridal shower?
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Usually, the bridal shower is held two to six months before the wedding.
Choose a date that is convenient for both the bride and her guests of choice, whether that means hosting something a little further in advance or planning it to coincide with a trip home or another get-together, such as a bachelorette party in the evening after an afternoon shower.
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The bridal shower is usually hosted by the maid of honor, close friends, bridal attendants, or bridesmaids.
No matter who is hosting, be sure to communicate clearly to make sure you aren't planning two separate showers. Traditional etiquette says the mother or mother-in-law (or any relatives, for that matter) should steer clear from hosting as it can appear that they are directly asking for gifts.
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However, today it's become much more common and perfectly acceptable for anyone to host who wants to.
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Unless it's a complete surprise shower, the person being showered will generally provide some basics that they'd like at their shower.
The host will ask about preferred themes, details, date, time, location, activities, and other ideas to get an idea of where to start. It's up to the host or hosts to use that input to bring the shower to life.
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As with other pre-wedding events, the guest list should be limited to people who are also invited to the wedding. "You can invite whomever you would like from the wedding guest list. Keep the guest list small and manageable, don’t have too many showers, and don’t invite the same people to multiple showers," says Gottsman. "If someone is not invited to the wedding, they should not be invited to the shower."
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For the bridal shower, this usually includes the bridal party and the couple's family and close friends. The number invited depends on how large the event is intended to be.
If the shower is going to be a surprise, the maid of honor and the bride's mother should work together to come up with a guest list they think the bride will be happy with. Otherwise, they can have the
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bride assist them with the guest list and then keep her out of the rest of the planning.
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Ideally, the invitations should be mailed out four to six weeks before the bridal shower, either by post or email.
Make sure to include the bride's name, the date, the time, the location, registry information, a way to RSVP, and the names of whoever is hosting.
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A bridal shower can be as formal or casual as you want it to be, but it's best to at least include some sort of guide in the invitation. "There's not one particular dress code," says Gottsman.
"But it's always better the dress up than down." If there's no indication of the event's formality, it may be more comfortable to show up overdressed than underdressed. If cohesion in
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your shower photos is important to you, it's a good idea to think about what the guests will be wearing and make a note somewhere within the invitation.
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If the bride still lives relatively close to home, the shower can be held in her hometown. Does she live in another state?
It may still be more convenient for the bride to travel to her shower if most of the guests live locally, instead of asking the entire guest list to hop on an airplane. The specific location depends on the type of shower and the host's budget. It could be in a
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friend or family member's home or backyard, at a local restaurant, or somewhere more specific if the shower has a theme (such as a cooking school or a wine-tasting room).
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It doesn't have to, but it's a fun way to add some personality to the party. A theme could be as simple as cohesive, rustic décor, or you could go all out with a spa day.
Some of our favorite themes include a bridal tea party, a Disney-themed shower, or a Parisian-influenced affair.
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Not necessarily. The actual wedding registry can also function as a bridal shower registry. If, however, it's a lingerie shower, that would require a separate registry should the bride want to register for specific lingerie. As a bridal shower guest, it is in good etiquette to purchase a shower gift off the registry.
Does the bride need a registry for a bridal shower?