If you've read our post on how to make a great best man speech, you'll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and today, we're sharing 25 foolproof examples!
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you're a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride, father of the groom, mother of the bride, mother of the groom, granny or grandad, or just a close pal with a knack for public speaking!
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
Boasting everything from eye roll-worthy classics to offbeat gags, our round-up of funny opening lines for wedding speeches is sure to have something to suit your personal style, and many of them can be customised to pack an even bigger punch on the day.
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
Kick off with one of these gems, and you'll not only put the audience at ease, you'll set yourself up for a terrific wedding speech!
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
1. “Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers!”
2. “Hi everyone! I’m [Name] and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”
3. "The couple have requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me! Thanks for listening!"
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
4. "[Name], I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."
5. "I just want to start by congratulating [previous speaker's Name] on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn't follow a word of it."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
6. "The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no.
Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and, after already turning them down three times, I couldn't refuse again."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
7. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"
8. "[Name] and I share the same sense of humour, so if you don't like my jokes, you can blame them!"
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
9. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical.
Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/donut wall/photo booth/[Name] wearing a tie ."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
10. "Where do I start with [Name]? They're kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming... [directed at them] sorry, I'm having trouble reading your writing, you'll have to tell me the rest later."
11. "I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with my speech."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
12. "Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [Name]!"
13. "I'd like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately I'm single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fan sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
14. "A few months ago, [Name] called me up and asked, 'What are your feelings on marriage?' I had to tell them that, while I was very flattered, I wasn't ready to settle down just yet."
15. "Can everyone hear me OK? If you can't hear me in the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing anything."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
16. "Hello everyone! I'm [Name]. I'm sure you all know me as (Name's best friend/sister/mum/dad), but if you don't, well done on sneaking into the wedding unnoticed!"
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
17. "Before I begin, I must explain that, this morning, [Name] asked me to remove anything resembling innuendo from my speech.
Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I'll whip it out immediately."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
18. "[Name] knows that I'm a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice.
They said 'Don't try to be too charming, witty or intellectual... just be yourself!'"
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
19. "All of us gathered together in this room, we've got something really important in common - none of us have got a clue what I'm going to say next!"
20. "I was told that the secret to a good speech is to start with something that's relevant to everyone in the audience. So here it goes - all of your cars have been stolen."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
21. "I want to start by saying that, of all the weddings I've attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent."
22. "I'd like to start by congratulating [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
23. "Before we start, can everybody do me a favour and get up off their seats? Now can everyone take one step backward, please? Now can everyone move one step to the right?
And now can everyone move one step left? Thank you. Someone told me that the key to giving a good speech was to move people, but I think they must have been having me on, because this is going terribly!"
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
24. "I'm so happy to be overseeing the only five minutes of today that [bride or groom's Name] didn't plan.
Only joking, they went over my speech with me at the bar half an hour ago. [Pulls extra page out of pocket] But I did manage to hide one page!"
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
25. Guys, before I start, just some housekeeping notes, the venue has asked that you don't stand on any of the chairs and tables for my standing ovation."
25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
READ More
Found your opening line for your wedding speech? Now click over to this post for a handy checklist of people you need to remember to thank!