11 Signs You May Be a Hopeless Romantic

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The flames of passion burn bright immediately upon meeting a new romantic partner, but after a relatively short amount of time, the romance either ends in flames or fizzles out completely.  Hopeless romantics get burned often, but that doesn’t stop them from chasing the light.

Your Romances Ignite Quickly and Burn Out Fast

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Hopeless romantics tend to give a lot in relationships, both emotionally, physically, time, and energetically.  “Often this can be to their detriment, as they may feel many of their partners don't have the same level of giving and affection in return,” says Jenkins. Hopeless romantics are so completely enraptured by their own emotions that they ignore or fail to take into consideration how their 

You Have One-Sided Relationships

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partner feels about their relationship. When the give-and-take is uneven, hopeless romantics may fall into despair, believing that they’re not enough or not worthy of their partner’s love and affection.  Hopeless romantics might double down on their gestures of love, believing that if they are persistent enough, they will eventually win their partner’s love.

You Have One-Sided Relationships

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For some partners, these acts of grand giving can feel suffocating and stifling.

You Have One-Sided Relationships

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Hopeless romantics love to look on the bright side of life. Often, this personality trait is what attracts romantic partners initially. “Hopeless romantics usually see the best in new people and may find connections and commonality in people easily,” says Jenkins. “These perceived connections lead them to weave a tale of fatedness and start to emotionally invest in their potential partners.”

You Have an Overly Optimistic View of Love

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Eternal optimists, as hopeless romantics often are, tend to reject or completely ignore any warning signs that their idea or expectations of a relationship are not being met.  “They generally ignore behavior that doesn't fit the perspective of how a new love interest impresses them,” says Jenkins. “They may dismiss red flags and subtle ways a person is not as invested in them.”

You Ignore Red Flags

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Hopeless romantics tend to lean into romance in multiple ways, whether following love and wedding accounts on social media, watching romance shows, reading romance novels, or becoming heavily invested in romantic plotlines, art, and music.  “Usually, hopeless romantics have a positive or happier disposition, as this optimistic perspective is what leads them to wear rose-colored 

You’re Obsessed With All Things Romance

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glasses in romance,” says Jenkins. “They believe in love and fairy tales, they can have youthful energy, are great cheerleaders and supporters of those they love.”

You’re Obsessed With All Things Romance

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Hopeless romantics think with their heart instead of their head. They feel everything deeply and wear their heart on their sleeve, which can sometimes be a good thing, but this can work against hopeless romantics when reality doesn’t live up to their emotionally heightened expectations. Riding this roller coaster of joyful highs and disappointing lows can be incredibly emotionally draining.

You Lead With Your Emotions

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vHopeless romantics have an idealized, one-dimensional view of relationships and dating. They might even fall in lust or love with someone without even really knowing them because they’re in love with the idea of a person—not the actual person.  “They should clarify and write down their deal breakers and needs BEFORE meeting a shiny new person, so when things happen, they can have 

You Tend to Idealize Your Partner

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a reference point made when they weren't under the glow of lust or new interest,” says Jenkins.

You Tend to Idealize Your Partner

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This idealized view of relationships and their partner can lead to hopeless romantics acting like a martyr in relationships—believing that they must continually give in order to receive love, that their only value is in what they provide for their partner, or that they must suffer in order to be rewarded in love. A martyr feels powerless to change themselves, which leaves them totally at the mercy of other people’s behavior.

You Have a Martyr Complex

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Hopeless romantics tend to live in a fantasy world when it comes to dating. They might spend all their time and energy thinking about love and relationships because they enjoy how it makes them feel. It’s important to realize that these are just daydreams and not reality, which can often be even more interesting and entertaining than living in a fantasy world. “A hopeless romantic should date multiple people when 

You Daydream About Love

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they're single to keep their attention from over-focusing on one person to project all of their love fantasy and energy,” says Jenkins. “They should keep a balance of being with friends and busy with work and hobbies before allowing romance to overtake their mental space.”

You Daydream About Love

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If you have an idealized view of love, you might also be picky with who you decide to share that love with. Because your standards are so high, few partners rarely get past the threshold. “A romantic is more discriminating and may only have giving and amorous behaviors to a select few people, but aren't as likely to do those behaviors outside of an exclusive or committed relationship,” says Jenkins.

You Have Few Long-Term Relationships

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When you do find someone, you make the most of it by spending all your time with your partner to the point where you ignore your hobbies and friends.  Hopeless romantics become quickly obsessed with their new relationship and dive headfirst into their partner’s interests and activities. Remember to take it slow, keep up your individual commitments and passions, 

You Spend All Your Time With a New Partner

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and allow the relationship to unfold and strengthen over time. Avoid jumping the gun and going all in with someone else at the expense of yourself. “Let things build slowly,” says Jenkins. “Hopeless romantics should NOT deep dive into social media and post their new partner and interests on their page.”

You Spend All Your Time With a New Partner

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